Family, Duty, Honour Shame, Betrayal, Love
by mariajonsson
Summary: Summary: Rickard and Brandon Stark never go to Kingslanding but instead join the rebellion with Ned. Brandon marries Catelyn like planned but after the war things aren't going well and they drift apart and she starts seeking the company of her good brother.


This is my first attempt at a fanfic, so if I made any mistakes I'm truly sorry. :) All mistakes are mine (since I wrote it). Don't know yet if this is a series or just a one shot.

Disclamer: ASOIF does not belong to me but to the brilliant GRRM. No money is being made from this, it's just for fun.

She didn't know when it started but she felt extreme guilt over it, guilt over betraying her husband not once but twice. The first was a surprise and she wondered if it was the reason for her second betrayal.

It had been 3 years since that warm summer's day that she had been wedded to Brandon Stark in the sept of Riverrun before he road to battle with his father and brother in hopes of rescuing his sister Lyanna. For a year he was an away and she sat save in Riverrun and prayed, prayed that her father and husband would return, for she might be married but there was no heir. Yes Brandon had two brothers, Eddard, who road with him to battle and Benjen who was still in Winterfell because, as Brandon explained, there must always be a Stark in Winterfell. However neither of those men were her sons and Catelyn had realized at an early age that a woman's value could only be measured in how many sons she was able to bear her husband and so she prayed that he would return and fill her belly with many babes.

Now two years had passed and no sign of an heir. She could see it in the people's faces that they blamed her, that little southern flower that couldn't bloom so far in the north. If it had only been the servants and the small folk, she might have been able to keep her head held high but no; worst of all was how Brandon looked at her. He no longer brought her flowers and tried to make her laugh but instead he looked on her with disappointment written across his face. No longer did he come to her bed but instead slept in every other woman's bed in Winterfell and these days he was so often away she rarely saw him, visiting banner men he said but she knew he was just off visiting the bed of Barbrey Ryswell.

Brandon's father Rickard, the lord of Winterfell, did not approve of his son's ways but if he said anything she did not hear of it but his disapproval over their lack of an heir was well known to her and the maester had given her all sorts of drinks and ointments that were supposed to help with conception but to no avail. It wasn't like her mother who had had babes bleed away and worse yet children who either did not survive birth or their first day of life, no instead her womb seemed to be as barren as the north itself.

She still kept to her duties; with Brandon's mother and sister both gone she took up the responsibilities of the lady. Winterfell even if the title was not yet hers and so she seemed to spend more time with Eddard and her good father than her husband.

While Brandon travelled around the North, his brother did his duties at home. At first she had not liked him, he was so solemn, not quite as handsome and tall as Brandon and he seemed to never smile. Nevertheless as more time passed she not only came to the conclusion that her observations of him were a bit childish but she had also come to enjoy his silent company quite a lot. He had been the one to introduce her to the north, to the people and the land, something her husband should have done. While they would break their fast at night he would sit next to her and tell her tales of Winterfell and when he once heard her complain about the cold in her chambers he asked his father if she could not have his mother's old chambers since they were the warmest in the castle.

And so time passed, and now three years into their marriage, unhappy and without any signs of an heir, she started to lean on Ned more and more and when the raven from Storm send came an hour ago with news that her younger sister had just given birth to a healthy girl after only a year of marriage Caitlyn felt something inside her break and while she sat there in maester Ludwin's loft sobbing uncontrollably, who had come there to comfort her, of course not her husband but the man she had started dreaming about at night, really the only man in the entire seven kingdoms she should not be seeking comfort from. Nevertheless here he was holding her until her tears had stopped and the sobbing as well. She pulled back from him embarrassed by being found in such a state.

"What's wrong my lady?" Ned asked concern written across his features "is it a letter from Riverrun, has something befallen to your father or brother."

"No it's nothing Ned" she answered her tears all gone. He wiped away some fallen tears of her right cheek with his callused thumb.

"In the two years you have been here I've never seen you so much as shed a tear in front of anyone much less cry. The poor maester though something awful had happened and he came and found me straight away."

"There was news from Stormsend; my sister has given birth to a girl"

A shadow passed over Ned's face as she said those words.

"Did she not make it out of the birthing bed?"

"No it's not that both she and the child are well thank the gods no that not why I was here" she paused trying to compose herself before replying "it just dawned on me that I will most likely never send this kind of letter to anyone. I will never hold a child of my own, never be a mother" the last words came out no louder than a whisper but Ned seemed to hear them just the same because his arms came around her and pulled her into a hug.

She still didn't know what she had been thinking but she guessed that was the reason it happened at all was because they weren't thinking. When she pulled back she felt this great desire to kiss him and so she did.

It was different from kissing Brandon who was so sure, so controlling. Instead at first Ned just froze, then after a moment he kissed her back with a passion she would never have guessed he had, where Brandon was always so sure and confident, Ned was shy and uneasy. However by the time they pulled apart he had his hand in her hair and hers were clutched into the front of his tunic holding him close so he wouldn't slip away.

Just as quickly as the kiss started it ended and Ned abruptly stood up from where they were sitting and stated pacing the floor.

Catelyn stood up as well "I'm truly sorry I don't know what came over me I'm sorry" was all she said before fleeing to her rooms.

So now she had failed her husband twice, she had not been good enough to give him a son and now she had fallen in love with his brother. Yes she was quite certain the gods were cursing her now both the new and the old.

The End


End file.
